Does Tendulkar have the best timing?

The Board room was heating up although the air-conditioning was working fine. I did not like the business case Jack Belch was pushing like all his previous ideas. Jack wanted us to acquire Moon Holmes, a company proposing to sell real estate in Moon (or was it Mars since that is where all men came from?). As a Chairman, I had already lost my faith in him. Moon Holmes indeed; they could not even spell ‘homes’ right! Also I did not like his pink tie nor did I, mildly put, appreciate the fact that he was having an affair with my secretary.

He was ranting on, “Salil, acquiring Moon is going to take us to the next level beyond the reach of any other player in the world.”

“If my memory serves me right, that is what you said the last time too, Jack”, I replied giving a wink to Warren Duffet, my CFO. Not that I liked him either, but he was the only guy who would come with me to play golf every weekend even though I would beat him miserably.

“But Salil, this time it’s different”, Jack said, passing a mysorepaku for me. He was doing his best to convince me.

“And that is exactly how you referred last time about your earlier so-called-strategic-move”, I had to be emphatic this time. I wondered how Sree Krishna sweets alone made mysorepaku so well when even Nike is duplicated better in Ulhasnagar and China.

At that point, everybody fell silent. Not because I raised my voice, but the room was echoing with “Choli ke peeche kya hai, choli ke peeche..”.

I picked up my mobile phone to see who was calling. It was Bill Mates, my best buddy, who was working as the COO in our biggest competitor, Lycrasoft, but who would not work for me stating that it would sour our personal relationship. I disconnected his call wondering why he called me knowing well that I was in the Board meeting.

Jack continued, “Salil, this is the opportunity of our life-time. I think we should go ahead and buy Moon. Though it is has no customers or business plan as of now, the founders are confident that they will find a way by searching on google. It seems anything can be found on google these days.” I noticed that the painting hanging on the wall behind him was also slanting like his logic.

“Choli ke peeche kya hai, choli ke peeche..” again

Sensing urgency, (because Bill would not call me twice during the Board meeting) I answered his call. Bill did not wait for the usual exchange of niceties or let me speak. He whispered “Jack has negotiated a deal to join us as the CEO starting next quarter. He is pushing the Moon acquisition to ruin you guys and keep you out of the competition once he takes over Lycrasoft.” The only thing I managed to say was, “Bill, I love you da.” This left the Board member sitting to my left wondering if I was gay.

I looked Jack in the eye and said in my sweetest voice ever, “You have made your point, Jack. Moon Holmes is an attractive investment and I think you should definitely acquire it after joining Lycrasoft.”

Without saying anything further, I got up and walked to the door. On the way out, I noticed that the Italian director I inducted last month was actually nodding his head to the music from his iPod and not to the discussions as I had thought. I shouted over my shoulder, “Jack, you are fired”, while I appreciated myself for sending the senior executives on mandatory vacation of three weeks since it helped me identify whom I can do without.

As I banged the door of the Board room, I woke up....

Now tell me doesn't Bill Mates have a better timing than Sachin Tendulkar?

[Disclaimer: Any resemblance to people alive, dead or yet to be born may or may not be coincidental, but is definitely not intentional]